Some Metaphors Write Themselves II

In this case, take your pick.

Lloyd Webber, 59, was working on the score [of his sequel to "Phantom"] at his computerised grand piano when his six-month-old kitten Otto clambered into its frame and managed to delete everything he had written so far.

The digital Clavinova piano has an inbuilt computer and the ability to play back thousands of songs from its memory.

But Lloyd Webber was unable to recover his work from the high-tech instrument after Otto, a rare-breed Turkish Van, had done his worst.

Says the composer: “I was trying to write some new music; Otto got into the grand piano, jumped onto the computer and destroyed the entire score for the new Phantom in one fell swoop.”

Turkish Vans — also known as the swimming cats — cost up to £400 and it had long been Lloyd Webber’s ambition to own one.

It's getting to be like shooting fish in a barrel with this guy...

And we know Phantom II will be boffo because his collaborator is acclaimed centagenarian spy novelist Frederick Forsythe! (Guess no one else would touch this.)