Rain Man: The Musical?

Ok, no. The Play! Bad enough.

Opening in London this summer. With Josh Hartnett! (In the Tom Cruise role.) Is this the worst screen to stage adaptation idea ever? Perhaps it will be redeemed by British director David Grindley, of the fine Journey's End and the pretty good Roundabout Pygmalian. And Adam Godley, who I hear is a very good actor, takes on the savant role.

What's the point of playing a loveable autistic manchild if you can't even win an Oscar for it?

Memo to Michael Riedel: you mention in today's column Cruise is considering Broadway as desperate career resuscitation. Do we have here the perfect vanity vehicle?

Oh Judge Wapner where are you when we need you....